TrAiNiNg...TrAiNiNg...

It has been 2 years my university didn't have training for the reserve army cadets..and we dont get our elauns since then ( not included me)..why no training? well mainly  because this defense university (UPNM)  dont have trainer or reserve army officer yet..the 1st intake and 2nd intake is just an experiment to make UPNM as a university..i know all of u might confuse what the hell im talking..let me explain..before UPNM become defense university it was an academy called ATMA..means Malaysian defense academy..so to upgrade this academy to a university, they must have civilian students.... so to make the university not to look like other public university (means with full of discipline and well organized) the admin bring out the rule that all civilian students must go through for reserve army officer training to graduate from UPNM...they only brought up the rules but there is no organization for the reserve cadets and the admins main priority is the regular army cadets because  everything is the same like ATMA, it just that  they changed the name to university..sometimes we felt like foreigners in our own university, only 68 reserve cadet has gone through their training in another university, im 1 of them..i felt lucky  because now 3rd year in my university im among the seniors..but my other friends in my class or in my batch still the juniors because they never had training before...so after struggle for 2 years now we back in action..we have our own trainer, our own officers and we can get elauns too..yesterday was my 1st training and i was having flu and cough together..it really embarased me..i felt so like chicken...i wanted to do all my physical training, running but yesterday i couldnt run since my nose was blocked by the flu..the only wrong step i took is i didnt tell my trainer that i cnt run, so while running i stopped half way and tell my trainer i couldnt run..he shouted at me..."you so weak cadet..cant even run for 1 round of the field and you are a senior".i felt so shame..but i dont care its a part of the training.. being scold and embarrassed by our officers..that evening we have marching class... my friend and i taught the juniors the basic of marchings..the gals are so soft..in marchings u must be like a proud officers with your body straight, hands swing properly and walk according to the command given...but these gals have no spirits..i know most of the people dont like marching...but i love marching..i enjoyed my training yesterday but that night my flu and  cough got worst..today morning i couldnt wake up..my nose is blocked and im shivering..i wanna go for training but i think its useless if i go there and just watching other people doing training..but i felt bad too because today we will have map reading class..i still not good at map reading..so i decided not to go and have good rest in my room..i just woke up and need to take medicine, before that...need to eat something..so i ordered fried rice and while waiting for my food i write this...now my rice is ready..after that i want to drink caugh medicine and take flu tablet..im going to sleep till night..hope i will get well before tomorow..im not going to skip my class just like i did today...so have a nice day..god bless you..

OnCe UpOn A TiMe iN uPmN...HAHAHA....

This year 2010 is my 3rd year in my degree program...wow how fast time moves...I still can feel how when i put on my 1st steps on this land called Sg Besi and Universiti Pertahanan Nasional Malaysia(UPNM)..My dad was the most happiest and proudest person..Why? Coz he thought i can become an army officer...so let see what i will become later..hehe suspence rite? I passed my interview eventhough i know i never answer the questions because i dont want to be in UPNM..u wanna know why? Wait n see..So when i enter Sg Besi camp it was a very well organized with military police at the main entarance checking and answering civilians question...then second enterance was the UPNM and the RP welcomed us..Feel happy when thinking of me going to study in a well organized and famous in high discipline university..Wow can u imagine..talking about defense ..ARMY, NAVY AND AIR FORCE what is your 1st impression..if me..i have high respect on them.Feel proud to be in defense...Well im going to be 1 of them..We have physical test n interviews..can u imagine I stop running since form 4 and suddenly run 2.4 km with already given the time limit..and I over the limit...and some excersice i cnt do according to the instruction..hahaha damn weak..but nw i think back, sure i cn do if i wanted to do..bt u know ..that time was like so blur..hehe..and interviews..before they ask questions they told us that we are not going to be regular officers but only reserve officers..oh my god i was just reserve? not going to be capten..only second lieutenant..i lost my interest to become 1 of the person in UPNM because i know i cant be regular officer anymore..my heart was broken into pieces...i never answer properly in the interviews so that they can fail me and i can study business in UMS.. so now u know why i failed my interview myself..im not going to be regular officer..when i waited and pray 1st before checked in the net for which university i got.. I prayed no UPNM....It was another shock..i was almost crying...i got UPNM as civilian student a.k.a reserve cadet...my dad feel this one is much better then i go to UMS coz UMS is very far from peninsular Malaysia and  needs money for flight and can only come back few days in a year....so what else i except it..maybe i got this because im the only Indian gal in my batch..so as to fill the quota they passed me...i take it as my faith.UPNM is my destiny..so i take it with my open heart..feel happy at least i got chance to go university..lots of my friends didnt get any university..so 2 cars followed me..hehe...im a family gal..i love if my family do everything for me..so we started at 7am from my hometown but before i reached to the place...my family n I were lost...we couldnt find where is the Sg Besi camp almost few hours..and i was among the few last person who arrived in UPNM..my heart beat so fast and feel like dont want to study and stay with my family..hehe..i dont want to separate from my family..but on the other side after i feel so excited to be in UPNM..i was in a new life, new environment and new friends.Being the only indian in my batch is a weird thing...Im not new to this environment because i have been in TLDM school where there are majority malays,  cn say most of them were malay. Indians can be counted just 3 or 4 people..My friends are all malays but what is the difference being with malays in UPNM and  in TLDM..Convent school no need to explain..Convent means UNITY...well i think there is a lots of differeneces between TLDM n UPNM..for example in TLDM we are studying in klass since standard 3 till form 3 and we know each other more, we become like sisters n brothers.They never bias to me...even my friends came to my house to eat tossai during their fasting and open up their fast at my home..that is how close my malay friends are..but in UPNM the malays are from many states and most of them never had indian friends before and some have very bad thoughts on indian maybe because of some indian thats show of their bad attitude make the malays have bad thoughts on Indians.It takes almost 1 year and half to get along with them..and in 1st year i was not staying with all in 1 dorm coz no place so i was given the other place with me alone in 1 room. I suffered a lot coz its hard to do assignments and atlast get used to lonely. Maybe if i stay in dorm with all..we can get used to each other. My result was not good in 1st semester and it effect my other semester result..But i never give up ...my 2nd semester till now, my results not bad, it's increasing little by little. I thanked my god coz never let me down..the most unforgettable moment of my life (bad memories) was when all the civilians transfered to stay outside and all of us has been given rooms and i have 6 house mates(1st list)..and 2 of my house mates try to push me out of the house by asking me to go to the other house(2nd list) as if my name was in other house..and the other house didnt agree and said my house belong to the 1st list.They even auctioned my name to the other dorms to take me as their housemates..i was auctioned?...its still hurt...Why do the 1st list house mates did that to me..just because im an Indian..what kind of human being they are..i dont feel anything when all my house mates are malay..but y they acting like that to me who are the only indian..only god know the situation im had gone through..being pushed by fuckers to here n there...but i couldn't say anything but only crying..at the same time i lost my beg where i kept my rm150 given by my family members to me..one of those malay gals wrongly took it but they are so rude..asking me to come n take myself and never say sorry..why the malays are so fucking bullshit..then i realize who r they to talk to me..i am who i am..no one can make me look coward..im not coward..i started to think of myself..to those who did that to me..i'll make sure u gals find for me..i am very sure those who did this will never forget and will always feel sorry..i can forgive u..coz im just a human being..but u must take ur punishment from ur god..that was my miserable university life few years ago..now i feel happy with malay friends...some of them are so good..my malay best friends from TLDM i will never hate them..coz half of my life gone with them..i love them so much..now my new friends ,my life is going with them..we are in a same boat to row..love u gals..i have seen lots of people..y there are difference between them, its because their lifestyle and own thinking..some are open minded some are the kuno's hehe..next year we all are going to graduate, so i just wish all my friends will pass their degree and go out of UPNM with flying colours......until then we will still row the boat together............

LiFe Is A tEaChEr

Ellow..how are you peeps..im just fine..just feeling like writing bout life..dont you think life is a teacher for us..it teaches us lots of things..sometimes we tend to be weak but it will get more matured when we face lots of things in our life..no matter good or bad..for example, yesterday was a really sad day for my friend fina.her dad passed away suddenly..even i cant take it, how would my friend take it? i even got shocked till i cry to my mom cos i feel afraid when people died suddenly..my mom scold me why am i so coward.we must face the life and shocks.we cant be so weak.We must have strong heart. hmm is this what we called life? Why we must have people who we love? why god must take away them from us? to make us suffer or to make us realise how precious that person is to us. what i understand or i know is its our faith.god has given us such a big chance to appreciate everything that happen in our life.love everyone, live life the fullest, make people feel happy because we wont know when we will end our life, maybe in 5 sec more or tonight or tomorrow so enjoy our life, love our friends, our parents, teacher, everyone so that one day we wont regret why we didn't appreciate everything why we never say thanks to god.sometimes i just wish to turn back the time to correct all the wrongs i have done.im a little stubborn u know,i wont realise something that my parents said no until i go through it. but now im a good gal because i feel my parents is the best motivator and advisor.i should listen to them more. since i cannot turn back my time, so i let the past to guide me to the future.i realise that i must get ready to hear more bad news than good news.since im getting older year by year..hmm i always say to myself whatever happen we just let the time decide but before that get ready mentally to face the consequences.

My OwN wOrLd

hmmm..this is my first time writing a blog..basically im not good at writting and im very lazy to write something..but not everytime coz sometimes i do feel like writing..so i started to have my own blog just to write something..my opinion..or just let go my temper..hehe..or for a time past..hmm so lets started it..welcome for myself to the bloggers world..kikiki..